It’s been a month since I shared my first motivation Monday post and since it received such a positive response I thought it would be fun to keep this series going every month! Today I’m going to share why I feel the expression some “bridges need to be burned” is an important message and life lesson. I know this may sound and seem negative at first but please hear me out.

I’m sure you have heard the expression over and over – “don’t burn bridges” this statement is usually made when we leave a job or partnership. It’s typically said with the best intention because no one wants to leave any situation on bad terms. If you google this expression you will find all sorts of motivational quotes here. This is one of my favorites that I found “Sometimes burning bridges isn’t a bad thing. It prevents you from going back to a place you never should have been to in the first place.” (from PictureQuotes.com)

Sometimes in order to begin a new chapter in our life we have to close another. While it is helpful to tell someone “don’t burn bridges” sometimes we need to “burn those bridges” in order to build new ones.

Toxicity, Negativity, Unhealthy Situations

The thing is toxic work environments, unhealthy relationships, and abusive situations are where we must come to terms with realizing that walking away is better for us than staying. Would we tell someone to keep a connection to those terrible circumstances or situations in their life – NO! That would be awful and not very supportive. We want to encourage and support one another to be in optimal situations for our mental and physical health. Sometimes getting there isn’t easy and we need help and encouragement from others to get to a better place.

The Bridge I Burned

While I won’t divulge all the details as I would like to keep some of my life private I will say that not long ago I needed to “burn some bridges” and it was the best thing I ever did. Unfortunately, I found myself in an extremely toxic work environment with colleagues who were unable to be civil and professional. It was affecting my health and causing a great deal of undue stress. I had to make a major decision that would impact my career. I was very fortunate that I had the ability to walk away and thankfully burn that bridge. I didn’t want any further association with some of my former colleagues. In order to heal I needed to completely close that chapter in my life. I can honestly say it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made and I am now in a better place professionally, mentally and physically. While it wasn’t easy I knew it was something that had to be done. My family was instrumental in helping me recognize this and supporting my decision and I couldn’t have done it without them.

Relationships, Family, Friendships

These difficult situations can also occur often in relationships and friendships. We tend to deal as much as we can until sometimes we can longer stay. While I feel marriage is its own entity – it has its own ups and downs and you can read about my decade of marriage here.  Relationships between family and friends often come to these crossroads and we are left to decide if we need to walk away. If a family member is emotionally or physically abusive we need to get them help and until they do we need to find the strength to walk away until we can be treated with respect and love.

If a friendship is becoming toxic than we need come to terms with recognizing if that friendship bridge is worth rebuilding or burning. We all have limits of what we can take and are willing to put up with on a daily basis. I hope this post helps you to understand and give further thought about giving yourself the credit you deserve. You don’t need to put up with toxic and negative situations “just because”.  While we need to find and appropriate way to deal with these situations we also need to recognize when it is time to walk away. When are efforts are no longer futile and it is causing us more harm than good we need to find the strength within to move on.

Stop Making Excuses

We make so many excuses for people, ourselves and things and as a result we get really good at making those excuses. Then one day we wake up and say no more! No more excuses for bad behavior, for putting ourselves in compromising situations, for not having the guts to say “no” and for not burning bridges that need to be burned. I want to empower you to think about your worth and what is important to you. I want to help you understand that I’ve been there and while it isn’t easy it can be done.

Next time someone says to you “don’t burn bridges” think about it for a moment and ask yourself…” does this bridge need to be burned?” In order to move on, heal and open a new chapter in our lives sometimes we have to burn bridges to build new ones.

Thank you for stopping by and reading this post and feel free to share your thoughts below,

 

 

*This post is purely motivational in nature. For advice and counseling about relationships, mental and physical abuse please consult with a licensed therapist.